Just like I do every third post or so, I'm cheating. This was actually an excerpt from a mail I had written to a couple of my friends describing something that had taken place in class at my MBA Institute. If you have a faint heart or an undying love for buzzing insects, please do not read any further...
"...I gotta tell you about this class here, its called Legal Aspects of Business, taught by this small, bespectacled DU prof. Its the most boring thing on earth, and to complicate matters, the teacher probably hates my guts after what happened today. I’ve already fallen embarrassingly, publicly asleep in his class before, so he knows my face. And then today this happened...
We're about an hour into a 2 hour lecture. I’m sitting last bench, rubbing my eyes, trying to clear the fog in my head. Out of nowhere, in flies this bee. As if fate had ordained it so, it heads straight in my direction, and after weaving in front of my face threateningly, dives behind my chair.
I look around to see whether it plans to sit there quietly. No luck, buzzes and shakes are heard. Girl from across the aisle, Monash, advises "Don't glare at it like that. Just hit it". I sigh. Killing insects is not something I’m very good at. Anyway, I ask for an economic times, roll it up and turn in my chair. The lecture is still continuing.
I suddenly realise i should say something reassuring. "I'm sorry, Sir. There’s a bee here".
I decide that all this would be better achieved standing, so i get up. I see one tentative antennae of bee above chair level.
Bee dives down below. This is going to be tough. I decide to be patient and wait. After a longish pause, bee makes desperate bid for freedom.
Hmm. Not that good. Bee 6, Me 0. I turn around for support. Sir is looking at me with expression I can’t quite describe. I decide we're gonna have to use drastic measures. I go down after bee. Class watches in fascination as series of muffled thuds emerge from behind the chair.
By this point its not only Sir who's had enough. Monash gets up, takes her register, motions me to move aside, and proceeds to crush the bee against the wall. Effective technique, but hardly classy. Anyway, class applauds. No takers for my theory that bee committed suicide seconds before Monash killed it.
Sir, having kept silent uptil now, feels the need to say something, anything, on the subject.
"You know, its useless to kill them. They multiply geometrically. In fact, if you show no fear the bee will not sting you".
I shake my head violently. i cannot agree. Bees do not think that way.
"So next time, you should just sit still".
I decide Maximum Lawman will not get the last word.
"Next time, Sir, I’ll just change my seat".